eing told I'd given birth to a daughter with cerebral palsy was the worst moment of my life - but also the moment my real life's work began. Only 20 years old, I struggled over the following decades and did a lot wrong. Gradually, though, I learned to see and accept the wisdom of Helen Keller, no stranger to disability, when she said, "When one door of happiness closes, another opens." And the aim of this book is not just to tell my story but also to point the way for others toward that open door.

My disabled daughter Dana died at age 14½. But, as the title suggests, she left a legacy for thousands of others. After a long period of mourning, I went back to school, became a therapist, and for decades, counseled parents of children with disabilities, helping many other families not only endure the same trauma but grow because of it.

Thus, DANA'S LEGACY: From Heartbreak to Healing is autobiographical as well as a book of hope for people in pain. It doesn't downplay the hurt, which is real and ongoing. But it offers a hand to the burdened and, I hope, will aid families to gain a measure of control over their lives.

If a child with a disability is part of your life, I trust that as you read this you'll find a number of lessons that will help you in your darkest hours. Among them:

• Disability brings both tragedy and opportunity. Although your dreams for your child may seem shattered, new ones can be created.
• You're not alone. As not just my story but the experience of many others makes clear, a person of worth and beauty lives within the disabled child's body. Do your best to see it there through your tears.
• Real control comes when the family faces its feelings honestly. In truth, how your family responds depends more on its attitude than on the severity of the disability.
• Listen to your own inner voice. Trying to make sense out of senseless circumstances is pointless, and dwelling in the past or obsessing about the future just robs you of the present. So to the degree you can, try to step back from the flood of well-meaning advice and listen instead to what your heart tells you.
• A child's progress can't be isolated from the family's well-being. You'll likely be dealing with professionals - physicians, nurses, teachers, program directors, physical and occupational therapists, social workers, and psychologists - who have much to offer children with disabilities. But, understand, you have expertise, too. The professionals, by and large, just treat the child, trying to help him or her to talk or walk better or behave in more socially acceptable ways. It's you who really knows the family members and their feelings and reaction. Don't underestimate your innate knowledge of what's best for the whole family environment.

More important, though, than the lessons I see are the ones you take from this story. I hope Dana's life makes a difference for you, too. I fervently wish her legacy includes a special meaning that enriches your life and that of your family.

Gayle M. Slate
Del Mar, California